What People Are Saying about Vulnerability
“I am learning that vulnerability should be a choice. For me, it all has to do with boundaries, which I am trying to create healthy ones right now in my life. My boundaries have gates which I can open and allow others that I have chosen to see my inner heart. I am trying to look at it as a gift that I can choose to give instead of the two extremes of walling myself off or having an open door to everyone. I agree that in our writing we open ourselves deeply and that is very healing. It sure is a balancing act and a choice. We are being vulnerable in this conversation and it feels very healthy to me!”
Thank you Carol, as you say conversation is healthy. I like the metaphors you couch vulnerability in. Through them, you bring up an important point–we have to set our boundaries. Sharmishtha expands on that:
“I believe that we should be very, very cautious about exposing our weak points vulnerabilities, there is a proverb that when a friend becomes an enemy he is the worst enemy you can have. Life has taught me not to expose them much! When it comes to sharing with friends love and warmth are better than vulnerabilities I guess.”
Thank you Sharmistha, caution is indeed warranted when dealing with people who don’t have our best interests at heart. Amanda elaborates on when to share and when not to:
“Vulnerability can be intense. Truly, sharing information, emotion, or a part of yourself with other people. As a writer, this is much easier to do with written words, than face to face. Most writers I believe, can attest, it is easier to be vulnerable and have your written words flow out than a vocal conversation. But there are cases to let a person understand us better and to let another person know we can empathize with them, vulnerability is necessary. For instance, in relationships we are constantly weighing the ups and downs of telling our partner or date, certain details. We make ourselves open to each other but there is a time, a place, and a pace to do things at.”
Nandita is quick to jump in and support Amanda’s view. Please welcome her to the ongoing discussion.
“I’d agree with Amanda and say:
Vulnerability is making yourself open to the ones who you know would accept you with your scars, flaws, and those labels. It’s giving that part of you to someone who you know could hurt you but you trust that person enough not to.”
Thank you Amanda and Nandita for taking the time to speak to us about vulnerability. It’s an important subject and we make decisions regarding how open to be every moment we’re in company whether that company is digital or in the flesh.
I’d like to close to an excerpt of Carol’s poem What I want Seen:
“See my heart.
It opens and expands to let in life.”
Ultimately, that’s what we’ve been talking about–opening our hearts because that’s what vulnerability is, being open. I encourage you to read the rest of her poem, which directs the reader what to see when the reader sees the poet. Its candor strips away society’s labels as the poet relabels herself with the labels she wants to carry. It’s a brilliant poem.
Do you show your true self or do you hide it behind a mask?