A question + Free Books = A Personal Account

The holiday glow is gone now. All the decorations are boxed up until next year, and my thoughts turn to the empty chair at my table. The days fly by in a bitter, cold swirl of high-stress meetings where nothing’s decided, too many cups of tea, impossible deadlines and long walks by flashlight down icy streets. Gravel crunches under my boots, reminding me I’m alone.

The wind whispers her last request, driving me indoors. My laptop screen flickers a morse code message from beyond the grave. And there’s not enough dark chocolate in the world to soothe the pain of my sister’s passing. I pick up a copy of Curse Breaker: Enchanted and I reread the end. The words I pulled raw and bleeding out of grief then shaped and molded into something beautiful offer shelter from the pain.

I rush back outside, hold my book up for the stars above to see. I shout into the spangled night that took my sister away. This one’s for you Carol. Your last wish is granted. After I shake my book one last time in triumph, I slip my earbuds in and fall into a story. It doesn’t matter which. They all push the grief away creating space for living.

Have you lost a loved one? Is there a last request hanging like a sword of Damocles over your head? There’s one floating over mine.

I promised my sister I would publish all the stories she grew up loving. It was all she ever asked of me. I wish I’d started publishing before she’d said her last goodbye.

Life’s a tale I’m living, one book at a time. I must turn the page and leave my regrets behind. I’m Melinda, the author of Curse Breaker: Enchanted and an audiobook addict.

If your Kindle’s hungry, check out these FREE books from my colleagues. Start your year off with a fantastic read!

Until next week, happy reading. I hope to hear from you.

Melinda Kucsera

12 thoughts on “A question + Free Books = A Personal Account

  1. Hey dear Mel. This… this is so painful to read. But I admire your courage, your bravery, and your honesty to face pain. I wish you well. I am sorry for being MIA for the last few weeks. Been swamped with real life. I hope to talk to you and help these coming weeks. ❤ I believe in you. I do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It’s been a hard week. I’ve been looking for an editor and it’s been a difficult search. One editor wants to rewrite my book but I just can’t do it. I might never be as good as my literary idols because of this, but I just can’t do it. I’ve written too much of Sarn’s story to start over. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but I have to accept that I’m not that great of a writer. The book I loved and put so much of my soul into is subpar. I’m trying to live with that. I’m trying to go on but it’s so hard when your inbox is full of criticism.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Aww…I understand how, as a writer, we can get attached to our characters and stories, because in a way they are our babies, and we pour so much heart and soul into these stories, we don’t want anyone to criticize. You just want the world to love your stories as much as you do. Unfortunately, putting so much of yourself out there for the world to judge means that we have to grow a thick skin. I know it’s hard, but if this editor is someone you have respect for, someone with a good reputation who knows what he or she is talking about (as opposed to criticizing your work for the sake of criticizing), then as difficult as it may be, it may be worth considering to take another look at the story.

        After all, you don’t want to do injustice to your stories by wrapping up in cheap cloth when they deserve to be in designer fabric.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I agree though only one of the editors I set it to wants me to rewrite it. The other three said it was more polished than the manuscripts they usually recieve and recommended a copyedit for grammatical errors. I can’t afford the editor who wants to rewrite my book. And if I let him rewrite it, is it still my book?

          Liked by 1 person

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