We hope you’re staying warm (if you, like us, are in the northern hemisphere) and cool if you’re down under where it’s summertime now.
We’ve come today to ask for advice. We have a tricky problem, and we don’t know how to solve it.
What’s the problem?
Our Newsletter-Dragon. She keeps escaping from her cyberverse and snuggling up to the boiler that’s heating the apartment building where our scribe lives and where I’m writing to beseech you for aid.
(Thank you to Uncle Miren for supplying the cool word I just used.)
So, um, how do we get the dragon away from the boiler? It’s starting to melt in her embrace. She’s kind of looped around it and going all stroby and red.
I don’t see the attraction. The boiler system is just a big boxy thing with blinking lights and tubes running all over. What’s so exciting about that?
I don’t understand dragons. Neither does Papa. But we like heat and red lumir crystals don’t function in your world, so we don’t have any way to provide heat other than to get the dragon away from the boiler so someone can fix it.
It’s definitely not looking good. There’s a few scorch marks and some gouges from the dragon’s claws. She’s rather hard on her playthings.
Worry not. If you’re on our list, your email addresses are safe. The Newsletter-Dragon got all concerned about their safety yesterday and shuttled them to a super-secret location. We have not found out where that is yet, but we’ll resume searching for it once we pry her away from the boiler.
I don’t understand the appeal. I really don’t. The boiler is just standing there. It’s not even doing anything interesting, but it is making some weird noises. Maybe she likes them?
So, um, if you have any advice about how to get her to stop fondling the boiler, let me know! Papa and I are out of ideas, and our scribe’s shivering.
–Ran, son of Sarn, beggar of boons 😉