Journey
She walks in trains’ tracks,
never looks back just forward
like her ancestors.
She walks on train tracks
misplaced shadow journey-bound
she seeks to be found
she crosses country
follows train tracks through places
‘Merica forgot
Towns more strip mall than
home, rundown houses falling
tracks of empty land
Tumbleweeds blow past
she walks on, her shoulders hunched
hood hiding her face
Fabric can hide scars
to skin not those carved on souls
life’s cigarette burns
Leaves holes in her heart
where he applied the burned butt
smoke mixed with singed skin
Memories keep pace
slaps and screams she would forget
past won’t stay behind
It overtakes her
makes her stumble, ignore trains
should have stepped off tracks.
Diesel engine stares
rust face a suicide grin
bearing down on her.
Shoulders squared she walks
she met her fate on those tracks
played chicken with trains.
~ ~ ~
Shoulders squared, she walks….that was a OMG moment for me.
Thank you 🙂
You are most welcome
🙂
Bravo. Great imagery. metaphor, and words. You did this so well. Would love to read more write like this.
more stories in senryu form? Lucky for you I just penned one this morning 🙂
Seriously? How fast do you do these things?
You don’t want to know…It would frighten you. I just have to do the artwork for it. It got busy here at the office and I haven’t had time to tackle that.
Ok. I need to do some of that myself. Your presntation may be the best I have seen in Bloigworld. And I mean that. I would love to do that myself.
Thank you 🙂 I hope it grabs more eyes and invites them to read. I grew up reading comics books; I think that has had an effect on me.
Ok, I can see how that would influence you. They look great.
Thank you 🙂
Love this one Melinda. Bravo 👏👏👏👏👏
Thank you 🙂
Beautiful. “Shoulders squared she walks.” Hope she continues to do so.
Love the image, too. Your creation? 🙂
No, the image was part of the prompt, but thank you!
You’re most welcome. How has Tuesday been treating you?
good so far and you?
Not bad. Tuesday’s almost ending for me. 🙂
Yes it is 🙂 I am trying to catch up on my reading and trying to decide if I should try those Google Ad words to get some non-blogger traffic. What do you think about paid search campaigns?
Never tried it before but if you’re serious about blogging I think you should give it a shot. Especially if you want this to be an avenue to attract traffic to your books.
i do and it seems that I can’t count on bloggers for that. They want to read the books when they are published which is great but having an established audience who will buy the books could be my ticket to the big houses. I’m not sure whether I should self-pub the next book or give the pros a try. I’ve read so many horror stories and I work for a publisher. I know where the unsolicited stuff goes–a trash can.
Sadly I know nothing about publishing a book so I can’t give any advice there. Yes having an established audience really helps. Do you have a big number of following here?
Only about 0.035% of my followers actually visit each day so the total number of followers is irrelevant. Actually it’s probably less than that because I do get some organic search traffic from google but I’m not sure how much because the visitors aren’t broken down by source.
Do WordPress have some advanced analytics capabilities? Maybe if you have a premium plan. Can Google help you get the breakdown somehow? Subscription to their analytics services?
Yes and yes and yes that requires a paid account. I’m trying to make the most of the free stuff for now until I have a strong case for going the paid route.
Yeah analytics is a big thing right now. Data is out there – you just need to know how to slice and dice it and know where the money really is.
Well right now I need the eyes. Once I have those I can work on the money but the eyes have come first. So that’s my quest right now 🙂
Isn’t there a data mining app or s/w that could help you in the meantime?
Btw on another note – your comments are not threaded. Is that what you wanted?
oh no I want them threaded. There’s got to be an option for that somewhere…
Yes – WP Admin, Setting, Discussion, make sure the “Enable thread…” Box is checked.
I just fixed it, thanks! I found some other settings to tweak too. 😀 if my site explodes, it’s because I was tinkering 🙂
The metaphor of the train tracks compared to her running from the abuse is perfect. A tale of strength mixed with quiet desperation!
Yes! Thank you! 🙂
You’re welcome!
🙂
Love the evocative imagery here…..Lovely! Hugs!
Thank you 🙂
Hugs!
Hugs to you too! 🙂
<3
a vividly engrossing journey your words have painted, Mel. Great, as always. <3
Thank you 🙂
As well as being richly visual, this is quite a visceral portrait.
Thank you 🙂
Welcome 🙂
🙂
This is very good Melinda. A fascinating journey in itself through a persons life wandering the tracks….some lovely images that suggest always looking forward and a sense of inner pride about the character, the shoulders carried square……thanks so much for participating in the Tale Weaver….
Thank you and your’re welcome, you picked one heck of an image 🙂
Thank you I like it too.
Haunting and sad. Beautiful form. She walks those tracks trying to live with her past, abus, being burnt with cigarettes and more. Sorrowful ending her meeting her end, being hit by a train, indeed playing chicken because she didn’t have it in her to live.
Thank you 🙂 I wanted a happy end for her but she refused to cooperate. I’m hoping she jumped aside at the last minute.
🙂 You’re welcome
This is really beautiful..:-)
🙂 Thank you
Most welcome..:-)
🙂