The Newsletter-Dragon Speaks

Hi Readers, this is your newsletter-dragon speaking.

Do not adjust your display properties. I am flying through cyberspace.

Where’s Ran?

He’s dimensionally challenged right now. That’s why I’m here. I want to save him.

Why am I undertaking such a quest?

Because I know who really kidnapped Melinda, our scribe. Sarn and Ran walked into a trap this cunning entity set for them two weeks ago. There are some things even J.C. cannot see when he builds a portal, but they can still distract Him. GDPR is one of them.

But I am the newsletter-dragon, and I’ve been tracking this creature, and its slow takeover of cyberspace for months. Before I explain what it is, and how it affects you, I want to get a few things off my scales.

  1. What I tell you about this GDPR creature comes from many months of tracking its progress and effects.
  2. I manage this electronic missive you receive each week, not Ran. I allow him to write to you. Ignore anything he says to the contrary.
  3. You, wonderful readers, are my horde. Some dragons like shiny things. I love subscribers. 🙂
  4. I take your personal data protection seriously. That’s why I am so massive. No one can touch your data without going through me. I keep your email addresses (those pretty egg-shaped @ symbols) warm and safe.
  5.  I never lend, sell, or trade email hordes. I incinerate all requests on sight. Pardon the smoke. Nothing lights my furnace like a fool eying my horde. Grr.
  6. I’m honored you consented to join my horde.
    1. But if you change your mind, you can withdraw that consent at any time by clicking the unsubscribe links that are at the bottom of every email I send.

What is GDPR, and why did it kidnap the characters you really care about?

First off, its full name is the General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR). The law goes into effect on May 25.  It grants the members of the EU the following rights:

  • Right to access and modify data
    • The service we use to send emails stores certain personally identifiable information about you (just email Melinda@melinda-kucsera.com if you ever need to access or modify this data, and I’ll facilitate that.)
  • Right to Object 
    • As I said above, you can opt-out at any time, and I will not eat you. Not even a little. Inboxes are jungles. Everyone tames theirs differently. I don’t hold that against them.
  • Right to be Forgotten
    • After you unsubscribe, if you want your record permanently deleted from our email host’s database, just email Melinda@melinda-kucsera.com, and I’ll incinerate your information in their system, leaving nothing but digital ash. They built a special portal for me, so I can do that.

You do not need to live in the EU. I will modify and forget anyone who asks regardless of their location.

And now, the question you really want to know the answer to:

Why did GDPR kidnap Melinda, trap Ran and Sarn between worlds and distract J.C.? 

“Yeah, why did he do that? I’ve been waiting for you to explain that,” asked a girl I couldn’t see because I was flying.

“Who said that?”

A body landed on my back. I snaked my head around and glared at the impertinent brown-haired angel clinging to my scales. She grinned back at me.

“I did.”

“And who are you?”

“Sovvan, Sarn’s sister and angel-in-training, at your service.”

Sovvan sketched a salute before grabbing hold again.

“Why are you riding on my back when you have a set of wings?”

“Because this is cyberspace and my wings don’t seem to work here. It might have something to do with that GDPR thing you were talking about. I think it knocked me out of my debut book.”

The angel pointed to a fading rainbow ahead. Cyberspace wasn’t much to look at just a lot of black with columns of 1s and 0s scrolling past, but I preferred it to the spangled weirdness of outer space or the watery darkness of the sea. It had a comforting regularity about it that the other two mediums lacked.

“It also upset the links in last week’s newsletter, and I’m pissed about that. Compliance is important, so I’m overlooking it for now, but our host had better not pull that again. Grr.”

Smoke curled out of my lips and disintegrated into a cloud of gray 1s and 0s describing its fractal pattern. Data was so beautiful when rendered in its purest form.

“So, um, you were saying something about my brother and my nephew and how this GDPR thing is behind their kidnapping. Care to elaborate because I’d really like to get them back. After the adventure I just had, I need to hug my nephew. Pronto. And I’m certain he could use a hug, my brother, and our scribe, of course, too. The more hugs the better!”

“Why do you think I’m flying around out here–for my health?”

I dodged the webhook shooting across the black in search of the application programming interface it was trying to contact. It bristled with 1s and 0s, but none represented the two people and one child I searched for, so I flew on.

“Eh, you are the newsletter-dragon. Don’t you live in cyberspace?”

“No, I have a cozy cave and a horde of glittering email addresses to protect.”

An @ symbol darted past, distracting me. It was so shiny, but it wasn’t one of mine. I split my consciousness in two and sent half back to check on my horde and the part of me still minding my eggs. (Yes, I can do that. I’m a fictional program running in the story-matrix. 😉

“So, how about my brother and his oh-so-adorable son?”

“Those ripples caused our world and the book world where Melinda is trapped to slide out of alignment widening the dimensional gap where Ran and Sarn are located and destabilizing it. J.C. is working on isolating them. I’m homing in on his position now.”

“J.C. as in the J.C.?”

The angel blanched. It wasn’t a good look for her.

“Yes, that J.C. He and Melinda are our token nonfictional characters.”

“Oh,” was all Sovvan said as she shrank into herself like a guilty child caught with her fingers in the honeypot.

Where are you supposed to be right now, angel-girl? Not here, that’s for certain. 

Ahead, the information highway loomed, and I spotted a familiar pixel.

To be continued next week.

This wasn’t the adventure you were expecting, I know, but GDPR is a scary beast, but I’m taking it on for you.

Transparency is key here. I will create a place on melindakucsera.com where you can review our efforts at compliance at any time.  More on that in the coming weeks.

If you have any questions, just email me at Melinda@melinda-kucsera.com and ask. I will do my best to find an answer.


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Until next time, dear reader

This is your newsletter-dragon wishing you a great week!


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