The Bunny Did It

Hi Readers!

Last week, I, Ran, son of Sarn, your lovable narrator, interrogated a giant bunny who may or may not be the Easter Bunny. He’s still not saying. That episode ended with a crash. Before we jump into that, I just want to thank you for joining us on this crazy experiment we call a newsletter.

I, and our scribe, Melinda, are grateful that week after week you choose to open our emails and see what we’re up to. Thank you. We do this for you. We live to entertain. No, really, we’re fictional, so we only exist when you read us. It’s sad, but true.

And one last note before I take my narrator hat off and jump back into the adventure. For some reason, Amazon was delivering the wrong file for Curse Breaker: Falls. The issue seems to have begun on March 20, 2018, when we uploaded an updated version. (We changed a few links to our newsletter because the newsletter-dragon broke something important and none of know how to fix it. She’s taking over one week in May, so you’ll meet her then.)

Cyberspace got all twisty after we uploaded Curse Breaker: Falls (maybe Amazon has dragons running their IT department too?) and something happened to the file. No one’s sure what. We uploaded a new version and the correct file is on Amazon’s server again. We had our dragon fly over and check just to be certain.

So, if you purchased a copy between 3/20/2018 and 4/15/2018, just open it up and check the title/copyright page. If it says Curse Breaker: Falls, then you’re all good. If it says something else, you can contact Amazon’s customer service and let them know the correct book is on their server and maybe they should keep their dragon’s claws away from their server towers and their pretty flashing lights?

We’re sorry for any inconvenience this has caused. We check our books every month because this, unfortunately, has happened before, but that time, Amazon lost our book. (That happened around the time we journeyed into Amazon Land and met with its King. You can relive that showdown here. Just don’t tell Amazon’s King about it, okay?)

And now fair readers, the moment you’ve been waiting for.


Fictional Characters vs the Easter Bunny? (Part 3)

Part 1, Part 2

 

The shield bowed inward. I cowered against Papa’s chest. He clutched me with one arm while pushing power to reinforce the collapsing bubble of green light protecting us from the car smashing into it. Energy rippled through the car, crushing it.

Startled passengers jerked forward then back as their restraints struggled to keep them inside the car. The windshield spider-webbed from the force compressing it then shattered when a yellow blur stomped on it and jumped away.

“That was bunny. Where’s he going?” I shouted over the din.

“I don’t know,” Papa said through clenched teeth.

The strain was getting to him, the veins stood out in his neck and the backs of his hands.

“You can’t hold it. You don’t have enough power,” Melinda said right before she body-slammed Papa.

Melinda might be small, but she knocked us down as the shield buckled and broke, showering us with magic. The car struck the guardrail and stopped, but I stayed on the verge tucked in close to Papa and shivered.

“It’s okay now.”

He rubbed my back, but I shook my head, refusing to look up. Tears mixed with the rain. At least it was tapering off to a freezing drizzle finally.

“What about the people in the car?”

“They’re unconscious and a bit cut up by the glass shards. They’ll be okay but not their car though.” Melinda tapped on her phone. “Damn it, there’s no signal. The cell tower must be down again.”

A long, low moan dared me to look up. Bear was stirring but there was something wrong with him. I squinted at his chest and the stuffing sticking out of it until Papa’s hand covered my eyes.

“Bear? Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

I’ll live which is more than I can say for that fluffy-eared ruffian. When I get my paws on him, he’ll wish he was never believed into being.

“What did he take from you? What is a focus?”

Later, lad, there’ll be plenty time for questions. 

That’s what Bear always said but when later rolled around, he had a habit of not being there.

“You promise?”

Yeah, now let me pull myself back together and help these nice people. 

“No need, those flashing lights are the police–our version of your guards. Bear, you’d better hide. Explaining this will be hard enough without you here.”

Why’s that? Aren’t all teddy bears sentient and possessed of spirit guides? 

“No, nor are they as tall as real bears.”

I parted Papa’s fingers in time to see the twinkle in Bear’s button eyes. He was sitting up now and his chest was knitting itself back together with luminous threads. Apparently, Bear was more durable than he’d let on. I’m still mad he vanished during  Curse Breaker: Falls leaving Papa and me to face some bad people and creatures.

“Will you just shoo? They’re coming.” Melinda hissed as a bigger, boxier car pulled up by the crash. Its dark color merged with the night.

Keep your snow pants on, I’m fading from sight as fast as I can. I’m a victim too, you know. 

Bear shrunk down and floated into my outstretched arms. He winked a button eye at me right before I hugged him hard.

Easy lad, I’m still stitching myself back together. Loosen your grip a little and let your Bear breathe. 

I did as he asked even though I still didn’t buy his explanation about bears breathing magic rather than air. The car door opened, and a friend stepped out, clad in a smart, dark blue uniform. As he walked over, he adjusted the luminous cross he carried. It was taller than he was.

“Is everyone okay?” J.C., at least we think he’s that J.C., said.

He winked at me and I smiled. Everything would be okay now. Melinda just stared, mouth-agape and shook her head. Even Papa smiled until J.C. spoke.

“I’m glad you’re all okay or in Bear’s case, will soon be. But this isn’t a social call, unfortunately.”

J.C. paused and sank to his knees as the cross grew so heavy, he could scarcely carry it. But when Papa rushed to help him, J.C. shook his head and Papa fell back a step.

“I wish you could help but it’s up to them to do that.”

J.C. swept an arm out to encompass the passing headlights on the road we’d left hours ago and the ones turning on in the houses lining the hills behind us. More lights were coming our way, bright flashing ones and sirens too.

“My friends, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

 —

We’ll find out next week. The newsletter-dragon gets mad if we go over our word count. 0_o


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Until next time, dear reader

This is Ran, son of Sarn, “the hopeful character” wishing you a great week!


TL; DR

Here’s your rundown:


 

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